One of the reasons I love my job is that the kids and parents literally don’t give a single fuck what I wear or how I look.
I wear a uniform at both of my jobs, neither are really flattering, but I feel similarly to how I felt in high school. I love uniforms because they remind me that I am not where I am to look good; I am there to work. I am not a fan of catholic school overall, but I think they had that right at least.
In college I had a hard time leaving my dorm for class because I couldn’t find clothes that didn’t make me hate myself and my body. In high school it was never an issue and now I just really enjoy wearing a uniform again.
Also I haven’t washed my hair in three days which is why I began typing this ridiculous post on my phone in the first place. Woooooo I’m so gross and no one even cares.
When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty. The world teaches you that the way you exist in it is disgusting — you watch boys cringe backward in your dorm room when you talk about your period, blue water pretending to be blood in a maxi pad commercial. It is little things, and it is constant. In a food court in a mall, after you go to the gynecologist for the first time, you and your friend talk about how much it hurts, and over her shoulder you watch two boys your age turn to look at you and wrinkle their noses: the reality of your life is impolite to talk about. The world says that you don’t have a right to the space you occupy, any place with men in it is not yours, you and your body exist only as far as what men want to do with it. At fifteen, you find fifteen-year-old boys you have never met somehow believe you should bend your body to their will. At almost thirty, you find fifteen-year-old boys you have never met still somehow believe you should bend your body to their will. They are children. They are children.
“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”—Kurt Vonnegut (via daxxxx)